Dear Lord, some people...

Wow. A lot has happened since last night. A lot. I came home from a perfectly fine day at school and then an amazing curling practise (first one of the season! <3), to find that I had been highlighted on mIRC at least 5 separate times. Turns out a pretty good friend of mine was a spy and a male instead of a female as I had previously thought. So that was a shocker. Then this morning, I'm at the table I normally sit at in the morning - my friend's are there, I'm talking to two of them, when one of the people I had previously thought I was friends with tapped me lightly on the shoulder. I went over to talk to him and he basically told me I bitch and complain too much. And that the entire group of people I hang with had pretty much dropped the ball because none of them had enough balls to confront me earlier.

I love critism. But apparently He pretty much hates me, thinks I need to grow up, and was fed up with the way I act. I have no idea where any of it came from and it's making me question a LOT of things. Apparently I trust far too fast. Case in point? Both of these.

I don't even know what to do right now. I'm so messed up. I'm all shaky and almost crying and I'm just so messed up. I now know that I need this visit to my hometown this weekend and see Jesse. I can't wait - I miss him so much. Plus I'll get to see Sami. Both things should help.

It snowed! It was SO beautiful. <3 I wish I had had a camera... I think I'm going to spend my birthday money on a camera. My uncle and I will go camera shopping. I'm hoping for a canon or something of similar quality. I LOVE taking pictures, and I so badly want a good camera to be able to do that.

I guess that's all for now. 'Til next time <33

ALRIGHTY.

Omg, hai. xD I dropped the ball, I'm sorry. <3. Just nothing worth talking about has happened.

I'll catch you up anyways.

I went to see The Taming of the Shrew in Stratford, Ontario. That was beautiful <3 and amazing. So that's the picture over there. I sat up in the balcony right behind where the picture was taken, right in the top. Such a beautiful stage. Such a beautiful town, too. Even in the rain. I went last year. Pretty! =D I am SUCH girl. Go figure.

Now I'll have to catch up more... So that was Tuesday of last week. It's now Sunday of... This week. xD This week I had archery in gym - that was UBER exciting. I sucked in the class because all the bows liked to shoot left. Plus I forgot to sight down the arrow... >_> Lawl. But I went on Friday for two class periods to a local range. Then I came back to school and skipped third - so I had three lunches. Guess what I ate? LAWL. Only a granola bar. xDD I know, right? :P Then I went to fourth and did nothing because we had a substitute and it's a computer course. So I pretty much just emailed my online friend José a few times and helped a friend with a psych essay. Not much. So then I came home, called Jesse and watched Days of Our Lives (I'm now hooked on a soap... How sad!). Then I called José and talked to him while I packed and did laundry. I ended up going to my dad's. Pft. I don't like my dad's house very much. I don't DO anything. This weekend I ended up going to dinner and the movies with my Aunt Karen - she's 19 so she's more like a cousin.

We went to a sports bar and her two guy friends showed up. That was weird/cool. She's in university, so it was... Good, I guess? xDD Then we went to Chapters (Canadian Book store) to kill some time before out movie. We went to see 'The Secret Life Of Bees.' It was a sad chick flicker. But it was REALLY good. I bawled. xD

Wha else happened... Well I went to my grandma's the weekend before this one - so a week ago. It was Canadian thanksgiving so I got to eat turkey! Nummy nummy. I also got an alptop for my birthday from my grandma and grandpa. Let's put it this way - one USB port, and it came with Windows 2000. She bought it off of ebay for $250.

What else is there... Not much, I guess. That was about it. xDD I'll REALLY try update more.

Oh yeah. My dad didn't give me a camera for my birthday.

why?

why oh why must these songs remind me of you? why can't i get away?

why do i constantly think of you?

Is it a good thing that i'm kinda happy that you and Jo need a break?

I wish i could come up and see you. But this weekend my uncle's working, next weekend is Thanksgiving, and the weekend after that he's working again. It'll be at least a month (probably more) until i can see you again. If you and Jo 'take a break' and get back together... Well I've lost my chance for another few months.

I just want it to be you and I, Jess. I just want to kiss you once. Just once. But at this rate, it won't ever happen.

I guess, as long as I know we're best friends forever, I don't care what happens. But for as long as I live, some of the songs from 'From Under the Cork Tree' will always remind me of you. So will 'I'll Do Anything.' Because that's just how we are.

I'd do anything

Just to hold you in my arm

To try to make you laugh

'Cuz somehow I can't put you in the past

I'd do anything

Just to fall asleep with you

Will you remember me

'Cuz I know I won't forget you

Small update.

Everyday, right? =D

Today's - try and find my picasa. I've been adding pictures everyday for the past three days. xDD

Maybe i'll start a picture a day feature once i get my new camera. (:

Oh! I forgot!

I talked to Jesse for a half hour today. He's getting a new job - or wants to - which will be good. His mere had a heart attack, but she's better now.

And he thinks somethings wrong between him an Jo. :/ I'm sad. He said something, i don't remember what, and instead of going with my gut and trying to make this better for me, i told him that they'll work through it, they'll stay together.

Is is bad that i want him to be mine?