-sigh-

Why must i think of you more than him? I know i love him, but you're still always on my mind. I smile whenever I see you, and I always hope that it's you that's calling. But it's always him, and I can't help but be disappointed. I miss you. I wish you weren't so happy with her. We've never been together, but I think it was meant to be. I think you know that too. I wish you could see what I'm going through. I wish I could say goodbye to him. But I can't. I know that I should love him, because he loves me so much. But we just don't fit anymore, and I wish he would see that so that I can be with you. But I don't want to hurt him. and he keeps stopping me. He doesn't want to give up.

I wish you could see how happy i get when you sign online, or when we share web cams. Or how often I think about how I look so that I look good later on when maybe you offer to view my web cam. I miss you Jesse. You were always the first one. And until I get to experience that finally, I won't ever let you go.